What are we doing here?
21 people, most under 10 years old, were murdered yesterday in an elementary school. Seriously, what the hell are we doing?
It's 5:30 and so far this morning I have googled every Texas politician's voting record, watched Coach Kerr's speech, poured my second cup of coffee, refreshed Twitter at least 20 times, and watched the news the past 30 minutes. I've been trying to figure out how to talk about this with my staff, my boyfriend, my therapist, my friends who are teachers, my friends with kids, and those who are trying to have them. And trying to figure out how something like this can even be political anymore.
And I know how. Obviously, right? "Gun control" is another expression that 50 years ago members of a lobbying group said was an infringement of rights, and we've been picking up the pieces ever since. We get so caught up on these words and expressions that we forget who they're actually meant to protect. The second amendment was never meant to protect the right to kill more human beings than you have years in your own life. The constitution was not meant to be the same artifact 250 years later - even our, very flawed, founding fathers knew that.
And yet here we are, in 2022, literally killing people to protect these personal liberties that were never meant to be defended this fiercely, so that people like Mitch McConnell don't get voted into retirement.
We are in our 145th day of 2022, and there have been 27 school shootings so far this year. That's one every 5.4 days - 1 every school week.
212 mass shootings so far, with around 600 expected by the end of the year. Thats 3 every 2 days so far this year. Meaning there have been at least 12 deaths every 2 days.
And rather than looking at changing our gun laws, we want to arm teachers, or blame a health care system that we also won't change. We continue to send thoughts and prayers, without actually giving this much thought at all. This 18 year old who took 21 lives posted a picture on Instagram of the 2 assault rifles that he legally bought himself on his birthday, two days before running into an elementary school with them. His TikTok bio came with a warning. All of the signs were there, and yet we as a country allowed him to buy two guns, and carry out yet another mass shooting.
When I go to the movies, church, grocery store, concert, bar, holiday shopping, you name it....I can name a city where there has been a recent loss of life there. A city whose legacy now contains a mass shooting. A city like Aurora, Las Vegas, Buffalo, Orlando, or El Paso. And hundreds of other cities in this country, with millions of Americans, with more fear looming, that today could be the day they don't return home from doing something that should be so ordinary, and so safe.
So today, I'll text my friends to tell them I love them. Remind those who are parents that they are doing their best, and that's all anyone can hope to do with their child. And check in on our teachers. A text similar to "put your seatbelt on," or "text me when you get home" - something so simple, but so powerful in its greater message: I love you, and I want you to return home safely. And it won't be enough.
As with all of these posts, I write this today emotional: angry, sad, disappointed. Grieving not only lives but that very feeling of safety. Hopeful, cautiously, like walking on thin ice after a warm day, but hopeful that someday we'll have solutions, and not just prayers. I write this today hoping that it will help me to feel better tomorrow. Hoping that it will help me to find sources of change, and fountains of hope. We need those.
For today, we will all return to work, and our children and teachers will return to school. We'll talk about it over morning coffee, saying "I can't believe it," wondering aloud if we want children, and if we have them, asking how we can better serve them. Speculating which politicians will actually take a stand. And then, we'll hold our breath until next week, when we'll inevitably repeat this cycle, repeat the slogans, and repeat these 5am coffees. And we'll wonder when these mass shootings will stop, and pray we never become numb enough not to notice.
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